Rivers of Thought
Life, Leadership, Business & Technology
No, this post is not about an obscure rock band from Sweden, but it is about music (I warned you this blog would be an eclectic collection of all my passions!) and how music intertwines itself in our lives. It is amazing to me how music can bring back long lost memories and emotions. I can still tell you what book I was reading in the early seventies when I first heard “The Long and Winding Road” by the Beatles.
It is also striking how music can tie us together. How many love-struck couples have “their song”? For Carmen and I, its Eric Clapton’s “Pretty Girl”. When I was a teenager all I ever wanted to do was to be a rockstar, so much so that I was never without a radio or stereo blasting away some Rod Stewart, Rolling Stones, or Eric Clapton. (I later found out, you actually had to have SOME talent to be a rockstar so I went into computers instead!). As my teens turned into my 20’s and 30’s I was never without music (probably why I have that “Ton deaf ear” today). I can remember pulling into our neighborhood with my two sons in the back seat, a favorite song would come on and I would circle the block until it was over (yes, I am weird). What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was composing the soundtrack that would form the foundation of my relationship with the two of them.
It’s still Rock ‘n Roll to me
When Jeremy (my oldest) was a little guy, he was extremely colic-ie. The only way to console him was to hold him while standing up. I spent hours and hours (and hours) holding him while I played darts in our apartment listening to Billy Joel’s Glass Houses. As he grew into a toddler, “It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me” became “our song”. Anytime it came on the stereo or the radio, he and I would sing it together at the top of our lungs. Even as we battled through those teenage years, music still bound us together. He became my “date” for many a concert…Tom Petty, Kiss, and more.
A couple of years ago T (Jeremy became JT, which became T) called my cell. I was unable to answer so he left a voice mail. “Hey Daddio, I was driving home for lunch and I thought of you when this song came on and I wanted you to hear it”…
How about a pair of pink sidewinders
And a bright orange pair of pants?
“You could really be a Beau Brummel baby
If you just give it half a chance.
Don’t waste your money on a new set of speakers,
You get more mileage from a cheap pair of sneakers.
You got it…”It’s Still Rock ‘n Roll to Me”. I still have that voice mail on my phone and EVERY time I listen to it I get a huge grin on my face.
Just this past week, as I sat in the waiting room and he was back in the delivery room awaiting the arrival of Braxton, his son and my first
grandchild, T and I were texting and quoting that song to help relieve some of the waiting and waiting and waiting. I can’t help but wonder what song T and Braxton will be singing together 30 years from now.
Emotional
That brings me to Brad (my youngest). Unlike his father, Brad actually does have musical talent. Otherwise known as Brad Real (www.BradReal.com), he is a popular rapper here in the midwest. When he was an adolescent, my favorite local band was Push Down and Turn. Their lead singer, Jason Brown, grew up in our church (I was actually his junior high sunday school teacher, if you can believe that!). Whenever Push Down and Turn performed an all ages show I would take Brad with me to see them.
Fast forward to Father’s Day 2012. Brad’s gift to me was a framed copy of the lyrics to a new song he had written. “Emotional” is a tribute to fathers, but more personally, it is a tribute to me, Brad’s father. What makes it even cooler is that he arranged with Jason Brown to sing the hook on the song. Unbeknownst to me, it was going to those Push Down and Turn shows and watching Jason that inspired Brad to pursue his music! http://soundcloud.com/brad-real/emotional-brad-real-x-jason 
To thank Jason for the vocals on the song, Brad suggested that he and I, along with T go to see Jason’s new band Cousin Roger. So a few nights ago the three of us headed out to catch the show. On a set break, Jason came out into the audience to talk with us. We were able to thank him and Brad gave him a copy of his CD “Married to the Music”. As they were about to wrap up their final set, Jason walked up to the microphone and said:
It’s Only Rock ‘n Roll, Satisfaction, just to name a few
a direct quote from “Emotional”. They then broke into an awesome cover of “Satisfaction”…and there in the front row. were three guys, bound together by music and blood, singing their hearts out!
…
No matter how crazy life gets, or how busy our schedules get we will always have music. We will always have “our songs”!
I am sure you have many examples from your own soundtrack. I would love to hear about them! Oh, and the book? The Hardy Boys Great Airport Mystery…
Let me start off by saying, I hate the term “Vendor Relationship Management”. Like the old adage, if you have to spend time “managing and motivating” an employee, you probably have the wrong employee; I would extend that to vendors as well. I want fewer vendors and more partners. 
Webster’s defines a partnership as:
A relationship resembling a legal partnership and usually involving close cooperation between parties having specified joint rights and responsibilities.
To me, that means several things. First of all “joint rights and responsibilities”, in other words both parties need to have skin in the game. If I am taking all the risk, there is no partnership. Second, it means fair contracts. If a contract has a clause prohibiting me from hiring their staff, it should extend to cover my staff as well. (I could talk forever about fair contracts, I have certainly seen some pretty one-side tomes) Third, it means, take some time to invest in the relationship. Get to know me, get to know my company. As an example, don’t try to sell me services that my company provides (yes that happens more often than you would believe). Some of my best business relationships didn’t turn into a “sale” for years, but have since become very fruitful for the companies involved. (thanks Jeff, Eric, Julie…) Finally, it means flexibility, to again offer a paraphrase “stuff happens”. When “stuff happens” be willing to talk through all options, not just rely on the T’s and C’s. During the economic crisis of 2008, 2009 I had the opportunity to work with several vendors to try to re-work the our deal to provide my company some relief. One firm, flatly refused to discuss options, even though I offered to extend the terms of the contract several years. Another firm, brought their senior executives to our offices, sat down with us, and worked through several scenarios that proved to be wins for both firms. Fast forward to 2012, I am now at a different company, guess which vendor I am doing business with at this organization?
That brings me to the second key: transparency. Defined as:
Characterized by visibility or accessibility of information.
What does this mean in a business relationship? It means both parties being open and honest about all aspects of the relationship, pricing, budgets, profit margins, goals, objectives, everything. Be honest about your services. If it is not in your wheel house, you will gain much more credibility by admitting that than you will by trying to “fake it till you make it”. Don’t try to be all things to all people. Awhile back I had a vendor calling on me trying to get his foot in the door. Coincidentally, I had a need at the time for a resource with a very specific skill set. “Of course, we have someone. They are one of the tops in the field. They will be a little expensive, but worth it.” I thought I would give them a shot. Only later did I learn, the resource didn’t actually work for them, they sub-contracted them from another company, marked up the rate and put them on my project. To make matters worse, the resource actually came from another firm with whom I do business. One of these firms was invited to our partner summit, one has not been back in my office since.
The third key is trust. Trust is:
Assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.
Trust is probably the hardest of the three, very difficult to gain, very easy to lose. One way to earn my trust is to tell me when I am wrong. Believe it or not, the customer is not always right, especially when that customer is me! I rely very heavily on the expertise of my partners. If I am getting ready to do something you know darn well I should not, TELL ME! Along the same lines, tell me what I need to hear, not what you think I want to hear. We had a vendor a few years ago responsible for large software upgrade. We asked time and time again, if our hardware was OK. We were assured it was. Low and behold a year later, our hardware was end of life and we had to upgrade again. I truly believe the vendor was trying to save us money on the original project, but trust me, I would rather do one upgrade than two. Another quick way to earn my trust is to advise me down a path that saves me time, effort, or money even when it impacts your bottom line; even when it leads to another vendor or solution. Again, it is an investment in the long term.
By now you are asking WIIFM – What’s in it for me? What does all this get you (other than a ticked off sales manager when you don’t hit your quota)? It gets you a seat at the table as a trusted adviser. It gets you full transparency into roadmaps and budgets. And, it gets you a relationship with someone who wants fewer vendors and more partners.
How many of you are as frustrated with software licensing costs as I am? I actually had one publisher ask me for our tax return. When I asked why, I was stunned with the answer. “Our pricing is based on how much you can afford to pay. We have found most companies fudge on their license counts.” What? Really? Great way to start a relationship, right? I had a conversation with another publisher last week regarding their “optional” enhancement fee. Turns out it is only optional if we never add another seat. Oh, we can continue to use all the seats we have, but to buy a new seat we have to be current on the enhancement fee for all the other seats.
Think about this for a moment. Let’s suppose you go to buy a car. After spending countless hours pouring over specs, visiting showrooms, taking test drives, you’ve selected the perfect make and model for you. You whip out your wallet and plunk down your hard-earned cash, but before you drive away in your brand new ride there a just a few forms to sign. The first states, you don’t really own the car, you just have a license to use the car. Sounds like a lease, right? Wrong, there is no residual value to the car at the end of the lease, you can drive it forever, but of course at some point it will become obsolete and cease to run.
The next form for your perusal is a maintenance agreement. Yes, that’s right, there is no warranty, the car is not actually guaranteed to run and when it breaks (and it will break) you have to have a maintenance agreement for them to fix your car. You also have to pay this maintenace fee to even contact the service department. Of course, its extra if you actually want to SEE the service department, because the first level of support is in, well, some other country.
The final form in the pile is the Automobile Evolution Fee (AEF). This fee can be as high as 25% of the price of the car. What is the Automobile Evolution Fee? This is the Fee you pay so that when the manufacturer adds a new feature to the car, you can install it, whether you actually need the new feature is, well, irrelevant. The other great part of the AEF, is when the manufacturer releases a new model of the car you get the new model “free”. Of course, you have already paid for it through the AEF, and on top of that you get to pay thousands and thousands of dollars to bring the new car home, learn how to use it, and reset all those comfort settings you were used to in the old car. Not to mention, the car no longer fits in your garage, so you have to remodel it as well. The great part about the AEF, is that it is optional, unless you want to drive the car to a different state, of course, because that is a different license and to add a license feature you have to be current on the AEF for all the other states you have purchased.
Ok, all this sounds ludicrous, right? You would never stand for that at the local dealership, right? Yet, this is what the software companies expect us to do every time we buy a piece of software. I, for one, am looking for alternatives, such as open source, SaaS models, or companies that will stand behind their products.
I would love your thoughts on the approaches you are taking to combat the ever increasing cost of software and software maintenance.
Follow me
Insights is the weekly, thought-provoking newsletter from Jeffrey S. Ton.
Every Tuesday – Delivered to your inbox.
A different focus each week:
Leadership Thought – A lesson-learned, an insight shared
Leadership Q&A – A response to a reader’s or a connection’s question
Leadership Spotlight – A highlight of a person or company helping others to grow their leadership
Rivers of Thought – A more personal thought, observation or musing
