Rivers of Thought

Life, Leadership, Business & Technology

I played golf with me dad last week

Copyright – Lawsonia

When my son Brad invited me to play golf last week little did I know my dad would be joining us. Yes, I played golf with my dad last week. It was a beautiful fall day, a little crisp when we started the round but warmed up quickly. Now some of you may be thinking, “OK, what’s the big deal?” I had not played golf in over a year. In fact, I’ve probably only played three or four times in seven years since I injured my neck. So, playing golf at all was a big deal. But playing golf with my dad was a really big deal. You see, my dad passed away in December. 

I don’t know when I first noticed him. On the second hole, I bladed a 9 iron, the ball shot across the green and into the woods. Brad and I spent the obligatory minute or two searching for it before I took a drop. There he was. I could see the grin on his face. The grin he would always grin when no matter how deep in the woods his ball or mine went he would walk right in and pick it up. As quickly as he appeared, he was gone again. 

Teeing off on the fifth hole, I had honors. One of the few times I had honors over Brad. After hitting my tee shot, I stepped out of the tee box and stood near the cart watching Br….dad tee off. The waggle of the clubhead, the shifting of the feet, the glances down the fairway as he lined up his drive, the “well, that will play” comment said half out loud, half under his breath, as his drive went right down the center. It was dad. 

It all came back. It all came flooding back. Dad loved golf. He and his buddies would play once or twice a week all spring, summer, and fall. I don’t recall ever playing as a young kid, perhaps we did. I do remember putt-putt golf, but it wasn’t until junior high that I have any recollection of going with him. At first, I was just hanging out as he and his friends played. He’d let me sneak a shot every once in a while. Soon, I could join in for a round. We didn’t play often. Golf wasn’t my thing, baseball was my jam. 

As I got older and moved away from home, we would always work in a round at least once a year. Golf at Green Lake, Wisconsin’s Lawsonia became a fixture for summer vacation. The whole family would gather for a week. Neither of my brother’s played golf, so dad and I would steal away and play a round or two. It was a tough course. As the years went by, they added a second course, and it was even tougher. Dad had names for all the holes. The Quarry (duh, it had a sharp dogleg right, if you missed, you would be in the…quarry. The Cliff (a par 3 that had about a forty foot drop down to the green, with little or now fairway. And, of course, The Dolly Parton (probably the most risque thing I ever heard my dad say…it was the Dolly Parton because, well, uh…the two big hills on either side of a narrow fairway). 

As the grandkids grew, a highlight of the week was going golfball hunting with Popper in the quarry (you see, I was not the only one who always missed the dogleg). Soon, they were old enough to play themselves. It became a passion for Brad. He and I would play a couple of times a week during his junior high and high school years, and, of course, we would play with my dad, a LOT. 

All of this came back as Brad and I played our round. The sounds, the smells, the warmth of the sun…dad was everywhere. It had been years since dad could be out on a golf course. I’ve missed him. But with COVID, starting a new business, publishing a book, I have to say it has been a while since I spent time with him, spent time with the memories. I didn’t know how much I needed those moments until he walked the course with us. 

Leadership Q&A #AmplifyYourJobSearch“I keep getting interviews, but no offers.” This statement is usually followed by the asked, or implied, question, “why?”. You’ve been searching for weeks that have turned into months. You are getting multiple invitations to interview. Perhaps, you have made it into the second and third round of interviews…multiple times…only to be told no. This is frustrating, to say the least. It is demoralizing. It can be depressing! (need help to stay motivated? Read How do you stay motivated during a job search

Let’s do a little digging. 

You’ve applied to dozens of jobs. You’ve been invited to interview multiple times. First question, how many times have you made it past the initial screening interview? If you are consistently being screened out of the process at the first interview, the problem may be your resume…well, better stated, the problem may be a disconnect between the story your resume tells and the story you are telling in the interview. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying the disconnect is intentional. The mere fact that your resume is getting selected for a screening interview, tells me your resume is a great match for the jobs to which you are applying. Think back over those interview conversations. Were you prepared? What story did your responses tell? Was the interview by phone, by video, or in-person? What went well? What didn’t? 

You may be applying for the wrong jobs

There are two basic approaches to conducting a job search: shotgun and laser. In the shotgun approach, you are blasting your resume out to just about every job opening you see. If your resume is in decent shape and the keywords are generic in nature, you are sure to pass through many applicant track systems and be presented for human review. This is sure to land you your share of first interviews. 

Ask yourself, are the jobs you are interviewing for really jobs you want? You may need a job, that is a fact. Are you really a fit for the job? The interviewer has been trained to weed out the mismatches. That is their job. 

Is the job one that aligns with your strengths, values, passions, and purpose? If not, it may be difficult for you to show interest and excitement in the position. If you can’t envision yourself working at that company, performing that job, chances are the interviewer won’t be able to envision it either. 

What about your presentation?

No, I am not talking about using PowerPoint or Keynote during a job interview. I am talking about how you presented yourself. 

Phone: Was the audio clear and crisp? Were you in a quiet place, away from distractions and interruptions? Did you use a headset, instead of holding your phone to your ear, or worse, yet a speakerphone? Poor audio could result in a poor connection, literally! 

Video: Think about the audio connection just as you would for a phone interview. Go a step further and think about your surroundings? Will the video quality be adequate, with adequate bandwidth? Is the lighting sufficient (you don’t want to look like you are in witness protection nor under intense interrogation)? What other things are in view of the camera? Do they depict the “you” you want the interviewer to see? Don’t use the virtual background feature of the video call platform, they can be distracting. Finally, how do you appear in the video? Do you make eye contact with the camera (not the image on the monitor)? Do you lean in or slouch back. Approach it like you would an in-person interview. Speaking of an in-person interview…

In-person: How are you dressed? In this time of more and more casual attire at work, this can be tricky to navigate. You want to dress to fit in, not necessarily to match. Let me explain. If the company is business attire, done. Wear a suit (suit, pants- or skirt-suit).  Otherwise, dress a notch above the company dress code. If the company is business casual, consider a suit, at the very least dress at the top end of business casual with a jacket. If the company is casual, dress business casual.  Even if they wear flip-flops, shorts, and rock t-shirts to work…don’t! 

And, what of your skills? 

Be honest with yourself, brutally honest. How do you come across in an interview? Interviews are among the toughest meetings we ever have as professionals. You are on display. You are the focal point. You may need a job. You may really need a job. It can be stressful. Our anxiety can be on full display. 

One word: rehearse, rehearse, rehearse! Ok, technically that was three words, but you get the point. Rehearse in front of a mirror. Rehearse in front of a friend, family member, or colleague. Rehearse in front of a stranger. Introduce yourself first or that could be awkward! Kidding! Reach out to a professional network or job seekers network and ask about mock interviews. Even the most veteran of professional can use some rehearsals with candid feedback! 

Are you selling? 

The answer is yes! If you are not, you should be! This is a balancing act. You want to come across humbly-confident, not arrogant, or braggadocious. However, you are selling product…that product is YOU! As in all selling, the buyer has a problem. You have a solution. That solution is YOU! 

Rehearsing can help a lot in this area as well. Go beyond just rehearsing. Review your resume. What stories does it tell? Which stories apply to the interviewer? Tell the stories that solve their problem. 

We are taught the use of the word “I” should be avoided (as-in I did this or I did that). An interview is not the time to use the word “we”. If you are describing a situation in which a team accomplished something, state that it was the team, of course. However, be sure to include your specific role in contributing to the success. 

Preparation is vital!

Are you prepared for the interview? Even an initial screening interview should be treated as a final interview. Research the company. Know the interviewers. Understand the company’s competition. 

As you do this research, think of questions to ask during the interview. Make these questions about the company, the interviewer, or the competition…not about the benefits you may receive! Never-ever ask what the company does, know what the company does. 

Be prepared with your answers to their questions. When asked, “tell me about yourself”. Do not recite your resume verbatim. The interviewer can read. Summarize your accomplishments (the accomplishments that solve their problems). 

Leverage Glassdoor to learn about their interview process and some of the questions they may ask. Be prepared to answer them. Rehearse your answers…out loud! 

If there is a question you hate to answer, be prepared to answer it! Rehearse your answer until you cannot get it wrong! Turn a negative into a positive! 

Beyond the first conversation

If you are bringing your “A” game to interviews in these five areas, I have no doubt you will move forward in the process…and soon! 

Next time: If you are making it to the final round of interviews and still aren’t getting an offer, I will offer some strategies to help you get that offer in hand! 

Have a question? Send it to me at jeff.ton@tonenterprisesllc.com and I will be glad to share my thoughts. 

Many of these ideas are featured in my new book, Amplify Your Job Search – Strategies for Finding Your Dream Job! Learn more and order your copy by clicking on the cover:

Amplify Your Job Search

#AmplifyYourJobSearch Network Amplifier

The Network Effect is commonly applied to business and economics to describe the effect on the value of a product or service by adding more users of the product or service. There are great examples of the network effect all around us. Think of the value of Facebook or LinkedIn if only a handful of people belonged. Think of the value of your phone if there was no one else to call. 

The network effect can also be applied to, well, you! The broader and more diverse your network is, the more valuable it becomes…to you…and everyone you are connected with. Nowhere is this more apparent than when you are involved in a job search. Speaking from personal experience, I did not fully understand the value of a network until…I needed one!

What’s the connection between networking and being in transition? Over 85% of all jobs filled today can be attributed to the candidate having a network connection into the organization. That connection may have let them know of the opening (hidden job market). They may have provided a warm introduction to someone in the company, perhaps even the hiring manager. They may have sent a recommendation to the hiring manager, HR department, or an influencer within the organization.

Networking: Getting Started

Networking of this type may not come naturally to you. I know it did not to me! One of the best secrets I learned is it’s not about you. Even if you are in transition. Even if you are seeking your next gig. It’s about the other person. You are not reaching out to ask them for a job. Take that pressure off yourself! Reach out seeking to learn. You want to learn about their job, their company, their industry. Ask them questions like, “Tell me about your role with XYZ company, What led you to that position?” Get them talking. 

Of course, you will need to share a bit about you and your career journey, but don’t make it a monologue. Tell your story…briefly. When you are in transition, you will want to include two “asks” in every networking conversation you have. Always ask what you can do for them. You may not think you are in a position to help, but you are. Even if they answer with nothing, think of a connection, think of a relevant book, recommend a relevant podcast. The second ask should be “Is there anyone else in your network I should be talking to?” Your goal is to come away with introductions to two or three people. 

Network while in transition

In my book Amplify Your Job Search: Strategies for Finding Your Dream Job, I provide guidance for building or expanding your professional network. There are several ways to quickly build connections. Look for industry groups in your area, for example. They may not be conducting face-to-face meetings in this environment, but they certainly have virtual meetings you can attend and meet other professionals. Many cities have groups specifically for job seekers. Locate those groups and start attending meetings. You will meet others. This will not only expand your network, but they will provide reassurance that you are not in this alone. 

Think about groups you already belong to such as church groups, civic organizations, hobby clubs. All of these groups provide opportunities to meet others and grow your professional network. They also provide common interests for those awkward initial conversations. 

Of course, social media provides key platforms to connect with other professionals. LinkedIn can be a goldmine for networking. Reach out and make new connections. Invite them to coffee (virtual or otherwise). You will be surprised at the number of people who will want to help. 

Tribes and networking

Networking can sometimes feel a bit random. To help guide you in developing a strong network I recommend two resources. The first is Igniting the Fire Starter by Jason Barnaby. In his book, Barnaby describes the essential roles we all need in our immediate network, or “tribe” as he calls it. These roles include The Listener (someone who is a good listener), The Dreamer (someone who asks “what if”), The Devil’s Advocate (someone who points out potential traps), The Organizer (someone who helps think through the “this before that”), The Catalyst (someone who gives a kick in the pants when we need one), The Connector (someone who loves to make introductions), and The Expert (someone who has “been there done that”). Check out Jason’s website at www.firestartertribe.com to learn more and to download the free Tribal Inventory. 

Diversify Your Net

Think about your network. Does everyone look like you? Do they sound like you? Is everyone thinking like you? If so, you need to diversify your network. In her book, Network Beyond Bias, author Amy Waninger, provides two great tools for identifying the gaps in your network. The first is CHAMP. Who in your network fits the CHAMP roles? C is for your customer, H is someone you would hire or recommend to be hired, A is for associate, someone in your peer group, M is for a mentor, and P is for protege (who do YOU mentor?).

The second tool is the IGGNORE matrix. Who in your network is in a different Industry? Who is in a different Generation? Is there someone of a different Gender? How about Nationality? Are there people in your network with a different sexual Orientation than yours? Are different Races represented? With whom in your network have you Exchanged personal stories, not just pleasantries? 

If you have gaps in your tribe, CHAMP or IGGNORE networks be intentional about filling those gaps. It will broaden your perspectives and insights. It will also open up other opportunities in your search that you may not have even known existed. 

Find Amy’s work at www.LeadAtAnyLevel.com to learn more about her valuable work! 

Why Network

Finding your next opportunity is only a small part of why you need a vibrant professional network. Having a vibrant and diverse network dramatically expands your knowledge. As you exchange insights across your network you will be exposed to a vast pool of thought, perspectives, and opinions. The more you give to this network, the more the network will return to you! THAT is the network effect! 

I’ve written more on the power of a professional network check out some here: Network  (admittedly some of these are about that other kind of networking) 

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