https://jeffreyston.com/jst/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/kyle-glenn-IFLgWYlT2fI-unsplash-scaled.jpg17072560Jeffrey Ton/jst/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Jeffery_S_Ton_340x156_darkblue.pngJeffrey Ton2020-03-09 16:52:552020-03-17 09:45:13Should I Stay or Should I Go?
each day brings new challenges, reflect on the day but move ahead;
mistakes occur, don’t hold grudges – instead forgive.
Change the Narrative
We’ve all heard the axiom, usually attributed to Einstein, that “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”. Nowhere is this truer than in the practice of building resilience.
To change the narrative, try changing your perspective as you look at a problem.
We tend to get myopic as we struggle with a problem; by elevating our view, we get a different perspective (picture climbing a hill to observe the landscape ahead).
Many times this process reveals a different path forward.
Face your fears
Our brain has a way of showing us the worst possible outcome of a situation, even if that outcome isn’t all that probable.
Many times retreat (or procrastination, or avoidance) is not an option, and in fact, can lead to a worse outcome. Take that step and move forward with confidence.
By facing our fears, we build confidence; confidence builds resilience.
Facing our fears does not mean we are not afraid, but it means we are strong enough to move forward despite being afraid.
Sounds simple enough.
Our bodies and our minds get tired. We need time to recharge and our teams need time to recharge.
When faced with a challenge, rest can be just what we need.
This may be taking a break from an intense project by sending your team home early or even giving them an extra day off.
It may seem counterintuitive to rest with a deadline looming, but you and your team will come back the next day reinvigorated and ready to attack the problem head-on.
Reflection is not the same as rest. It helps to spend time reflecting on the day and on its challenges.
Some may use journaling (or blogging), some may use meditation, and some may use yoga or running.
The key is to think back over your day. What worked – and what didn’t? How did you react and why? What would you do differently the next time?
Writing down your reflections enables you to review them and learn from them in the future.
As your perspectives change, so too will the lessons in your reflections.
This may seem out of place in a post about resilience, but not holding grudges – and not letting others’ mistakes eat you up – will help you be more resilient.
This is true for us as individuals and for teams.
Others are going to make mistakes.
Others are going to let us down.
Holding grudges merely serves to build walls and silos in an organization.
Forgive and move on!
Do You Feel Resilient?
If you don’t feel resilient, or you don’t believe your team is resilient, now is the time to develop the necessary skills.
Don’t wait another day.
Resilience is something you should continue to develop: learn the skills; put processes in place; and practice, practice practice.
As faithful readers know, my father recently passed away. It didn’t occur to me at the time, but in one final breath, I became the patriarch of the Ton family (going back at least four generations). It is now my responsibility to pass on the stories, to pass on the traditions, to respect the past and those who have come before.
One of the joys of the last few years has been taking my grandsons, Braxton and Jordan, to visit my dad, Popper (or great-Popper) – to see his face light up when those little guys would bound into his room, show him their new games, or demonstrate their latest artwork. Dozens of images come to mind…Braxton pushing my dad in his wheelchair on the last Thanksgiving he would visit our house, or crawling onto his bed to play games with him when Dad could no longer get up. Jordan telling a story so funny both of them were laughing and giggling, or Dad wearing Jordan’s Easter hat to the delight of the little red-head.
Two months almost to the day of dad’s passing, we welcomed Jasper Bryant Ton into the world. The second son of my second son. What an amazing joy to hold that little life in my arms, to look into his eyes. I could not help but think of my dad. He did not have a chance to meet Jasper, but I know he would adore him. My heart was overflowing with love.
Braxton’s and Jordan’s memories of their time with my dad will fade, Jasper has no memories to fade. Yes, there are pictures, hundreds of pictures, but it will be the stories that provide the connection. I want them to know of his laugh, his smile, his compassion, his goofy sense of humor. Most of all, I want them to know of his love, love for my mom, love for his family, and love for his fellow man and woman.
I treasure the moments I have with my kids and my grandkids. Even on days when I am preoccupied with work, or too tired and crabby to be patient, or when there thousands of tasks that don’t get done. I celebrate my role as patriarch – to tell stories of Mary Ellen and Gene, Lawrence and Sara, Hallie and Mary and the generations who came before.
Welcome to the world, Jasper Bryant Ton. You have been born into a family that loves you dearly. You have been born into a family with an amazing story. I can’t wait to share it all with you.
https://jeffreyston.com/jst/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/Jasper-Bryant-Ton-1-scaled.jpg25601801Jeffrey Ton/jst/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Jeffery_S_Ton_340x156_darkblue.pngJeffrey Ton2020-02-24 17:42:172020-02-24 17:47:36Welcome to the World